Reasons why Indian men are pigs

..And the best players in the world. Really. If you can work your way through their web of emotional manipulation, you can pretty much earn a degree in corporate and war espionage. I don’t understand why scientists and researchers across the world are still in doubt whether Dissociative Identity Disorder is real or not; Indian men have thousands of personalities, each extremely distinct. The worst part probably is they use each identity to their advantage. A lot like Edward Norton’s character from Primal Fear.

Anyway, here is my list of the top 10 reasons why Indian men are pigs.

10) They use the victim card to hook you in emotionally – Oh yes, they’re artists when it comes to using the victim card. As human beings, it is our natural tendency to feel sympathy towards someone who we feel has been wronged in some way. So they come up with ingenious stories about how their previous girlfriend was horrible to them, how their parents don’t understand them and how lonely they are, etc etc. Now an interesting fact about women is that we’re nurturers by birth. We have a biological instinct to ‘care’ for someone. It is that instinct that gets activated when a man seeks sympathy. We feel sorry for him and think that in some way, we will be able to lessen their pain.

Pokeballs, that’s a sure shot winner move! It works every single time.

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9) …But they hate it when women mollycoddle too much: Hypocrisy at it’s best. Once the lady is reeled in, they hate it when she mollycoddles too much or feels entitled to his personal space. Well, the entire basis for your relationship with her is your emotional needs. Now she’s there for you, and you don’t want her anymore?

And they say women are crazy while PMSing.

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8) …And they don’t like it if you get too friendly with other men: If you start getting closer to your other male friends, they turn into the male counterparts of Komolika (ref: Kahaani Ghar Ghar Ki) and consider it their birthright to violate your personal space like your phone, social media profiles etc. They don’t rest until you either stop talking to other men or pass a custom made agni-pareeksha. They also use tactics like manipulation to make you feel guilty. “You have no time for me anymore!”

Eh, I thought you were sick of me constantly fretting over you? Cunphuson, son! 

7) …They want a ‘modern’ girlfriend, but a domestic wife: Something that probably angers me more than Twilight and 50 shades of Grey put together. It’s hypocrisy in it’s purest form. Indian men love hanging out with so called ‘modern’ women who can smoke, drink, wear sexy clothes and have pre marital sex without any moral redflags. They go around claiming to be extremely open minded. But when it comes to getting married and settling down, they want a virgin, who is as pure as Ganga Maa, and will be adored by his mother. So the ‘modern’ woman is the test drive that never culminates in a concrete deal, while the wife is the family car who doesn’t even need to be tested.

Applause! Drinks all around!

6) They think every woman is available: Any woman who does not bear any suhaag ki nishani is open and available. They think it’s okay to hit on a woman in almost any situation. They would hit on their colleague, their boss, their friend, their teacher, their sister’s friend, their therapist – no one is out of bounds. Anyone who catches their eye in the unmarried category is fair game. Even if the conversation begins in a different space, it ends up with the man hitting on the woman in one way or the other. They have the talent to steer the conversation from aliens and crop circles to how beautiful the lady’s smile is within minutes (hours, at worst)

Tulent, man!

5) They don’t have the balls to admit that they’re not serious: They will keep you on tenterhooks until the very end, but will never admit that all they want is sex and a good time. They’ll keep you hooked with false promises and distant dreams, and then drop you like a sack of hot potatoes when they’re done.

Yeh hai #mardaangi!

4) They don’t have the balls to break up with dignity: They would prefer sending you a text saying, “hey jaan i thnk itz nt wrkng out btwn us nymore..we shud move on” or updating their facebook relationship status to ‘single’ rather than saying it on your face. Neat job, fella, really chic.

Yeh hai #mardaangi vol. 2!

3) They hate it when their partners earn more than they do: The ever expanding male ego doesn’t let them live with the fact that their partner earns more than they do. This pain is worse than the pain when kicked in the balls. It makes them less of a man, somehow. It makes them smaller in comparison to the woman. And how can they let that happen?

Kya kar raha hai yaar? Mard ban, be a man!”

2) They hate it when their partner disagrees with them publicly: They take everything personally, even a disagreement about Akbar’s hundred wives. They probably wouldn’t care if it were within the four walls of their house, but hell, if she disagrees openly and manages to make fair arguments, his brain catches fire like LPG gas. The pain is real, pokeballs!

“Khud ko kya samajhti hai? Itna akadti hai”

 

1) They make fun of their wives among friends: They think their wife is their personal property or trophy, something they can flash around unabashedly among their friends and pass comments openly. To be fair, it may not always be with an intention to cause hurt, but it still is an infringement of her personal space. She isn’t a page 3 celebrity to be discussed openly. It’s insulting and demeaning, whether intentional or not intentional.

Gifs from: https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/pokemon-gifs

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3 thoughts on “Reasons why Indian men are pigs

  1. I dated an Indian man who spent half his life in NZ assuming he would be more like a Kiwi. Well i think the psychological and physical abuse and creepy stalking speaks for itself. The only men who have showed up to my door completely unannounced and presuming sex is on the cards without an invitation has been Indian men. They are disgusting pigs and it’s true they want the Ferrari woman experience but expect her to be a Ford in the garage. They can’t handle if she receives outside attention and will make her out to be a slut. These are not modern men. Sex with them does mostly feel like rape. The phone calls are incessant and when you finally decide to break all contact they will go guns blazing and send you essay messages about what a horrible person you are. They just cannot handle rejection but they also can’t handle their own emotions. When I tried to leave, Indian boy forcefully took my bag and angrily emptied it’s contents onto the floor then blocked the door. This is the first time I have experienced a man bordering on psychotic. Completely unstable. My advice: have the restraining order forms ready from your first date, or better yet- don’t go on one. There is a reason sexual and domestic violence is the highest in India than anywhere else despite all their progress with technology and engineering.

  2. Well, I’m an Indian man. I’m sorry to say this. Your points are mostly true. However, I wish to point out a few things.

    #7. Isn’t there a female version of this too? girls want the alpha male/stud as a boyfriend but will finally settle down and marry a nerd/beta male who they would never normally wanted to date or fuck.

    #6. Really? 90% of men can’t even look at a girl in the eye (let alone hit on them) and you know, be friendly. We are taught to not talk to the opposite sex in school..even co-ed ones. If you’re not interested in a guy, just tell him upfront that you don’t want him.

    #5 is very true but the same happened to my close friend when his gf dumped him in favour of an arranged marriage simply coz the guy was richer. The poor guy felt miserable because she was with him for over two years and he WANTED to marry her. I got a question:

    If a guy wants commitment-free sex, how does he get it? Asking openly will mostly probably result in a guy getting slapped or being called a pervert. I mean..if a girl wants sex, she is empowered and modern but if a guy does it, he can get shamed. Seriously: I’m also interested only in commitment-free fucking but I won’t mislead any woman just to get her pants. Please guide me on how to approach a woman for a friends with benefits kinda thing. I agree that promising girls marriage and dumping them is a horrible thing but I must point out that these days, such men will get accused of rape.

    _____________________________________________________________________________
    I dunno whether it is right to blame the men, blaming the culture seems more appropriate. I mean it’s the culture that tells men that they are entitled to privileges, right? I grew up in India too but I think for myself and question a lot of social norms. I have also suffered because of society. .

    As for #7, most parents are not ok with guys marrying…you know.. non ‘traditional’ girls. That’s the other side of it. I would personally prefer a wife with whom I can share beer and be open. Virginity is not an issue as long she’s loyal and does not have STDs (STDs are a deal breaker, though). I’m not being patriarchal by having these demands, am I?

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